My sister-in-law is in town for the holidays and we decided right away we wanted to bake together. I’ve been wanting to make the Boston cream pie cupcakes from Julie Hasson’s 125 Best Cupcake Recipes and figured in this case four hands would be better than two. It might be the longest cupcake recipe ever written, and you know what? You don’t have to read it because they turned out like ass mixed with sawdust. I knew as soon as I started making the custard from scratch that I’d made a terrible mistake by making this recipe. The egg yolks weren’t incorporating correctly and it was taking FOREVER for the custard to thicken up. I tasted it, declared it a flavor twin to tapioca which, in my opinion, is the foulest food on earth, and stuck it in the fridge with basically no faith that it would come out any less disgusting than it went in. A few hours later Leslie and I baked basic vanilla cupcakes, only I was too busy fussing with my new apron and talking shit about tapioca to put any vanilla in so what we ended up with were basically plain muffins. In the end, the only thing that came out right was the chocolate, but how do you mess up ganache? So, because I love Slapshot and many other bands from Boston, I am going to make a suggestion for much easier cupcakes than the little gross-outs I made on Christmas Eve.

  • Make a batch of instant vanilla pudding. Chill it in the fridge.
  • Make your favorite yellow cupcake recipe. Cool them completely.
  • Make a batch of ganache, let it cool until it’s set up but still spreadable, maybe even pourable.
  • Fill the cupcakes with pudding, either with a pastry bag or by cutting off the tops and scooping out some cake, filling the hole with pudding and using pudding as glue to hold the top on
  • Then frost with ganache and thank Godzilla you didn’t have to smell the smell of warm tapioca.

For those who are interested, here is a list of other foods besides tapioca I am repulsed by: mayonnaise, cottage cheese, clotted cream, whole milk, sauerkraut, all types of sausages, boiled eggs, anything encased in Jello, hot dogs, brussel sprouts, beets, radishes, smelly cheeses, and finally, thanks to Leslie and my mother-in-law, chicken livers. They were eating chicken livers for lunch today and I thought I might die.

Until we meet again. XXX