Hi. Welcome to a super old ass post. Not everything in my old posts is vegan, so fair warning. No yelling at me. OK bye.

I have a head FULL of ideas for recipes. Really. I seriously do. I just don’t have any time to try any of them out right now. I’d editing the Food department of Echo and so far I’ve written 5 original recipes for the magazine. NONE of them are for desserts at all, what am I doing? I’m not even going to open my mouth about that because I’m swamped with articles to write and edit and as much as I love baking, as soon as it turns into homework I’ll resent it.

So this isn’t a new recipe, it’s my favorite chocolate buttermilk cupcake with espresso buttercream topped with an espresso cordial from Zelda’s Sweet Shopp. Why the two p’s, Zelda? An attempt to make Kosher chocolates sound old timey, perhaps? But I made these Tenorikuma decorations for them and I thought I’d share them in case any of you guys were making caffeinated cupcakes any time soon. Tenorikuma, for those of you who are not perpetual five year olds, is a Sanrio character. Actually, it’s the name of many tiny bears who work as bearistas (get it?). Check out this about me from the Sanrio site:

Latte, Chai, Frap, Maple, Macchiato, Mister Steam and Muddler—it’s the Tenorikumas! Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, the Tenorikumas run the Tenorikuma Coffee Cafe. Only 4 cm in height, it’s a lot of hard work just to pour a cup of coffee. But seeing them work is so adorable, it’s sure to bring a smile to your face.

That was weird, right? I never change font colors. I’ll probably go back and undo that just because it’ll bother me that it’s different.

So yeah, I thought I’d post the .pdf for those so you can make your own and I also got a request to post the file for the Bake & Destroy toppers I include with super special Etsy orders. So today’s a two-fer. Consider it my apology for not updating as often as I would like to. Next Saturday is Teno’s birthday party so I’ll be making some Blue’s Clues cupcakes for that and then Sunday, Monday and Tuesday are the Kitchen & Housewares Show at McCormick and I’m baking for the Jessie Steele booth! They’re technically just decoration cupcakes, but Leigh has promised to eat any leftovers. Then I believe I’m on Spring Break so I should be making some new stuff then and then I’m baking for a friend’s wedding shower.

You guys should know how to make these by now, just download the file and print these (high quality printing, please) on cardstock and cut them out. A 2″ round punch will make your life much easier. Please, if you’re going to stick my logo in cupcakes make them good cupcakes. I don’t want anyone telling me they tried a cupcake with my logo on it and it was crap. I will find you and I will shove you on the ground in front of all your friends. Don’t think I won’t, I’m a notorious shover from way back.

In other news, Hannah Aitchison wore her B&D shirt during filming on LA Ink, not sure if it’s this season or the next one, though- and WWE superstar CM Punk was spotted wearing his B&D shirt in South America a few weeks ago. I’m still waiting for the photographic evidence of that one. If you have pictures of you in your B&D gear (be it shirts, toppers, buttons, stickers…) send them my way and I’ll add you to my amazing collection of Bakers You Do Not Want to F With.

Ok, I’ll shut up, I just miss you guys. Here’s the files:

Tenorikuma Toppers

Bake & Destroy Toppers

Oh! I do have one more thing to say, and it’s kind of shitty so I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. I always post my free downloads on Craftster because I figure hey- this stuff’s crafty, maybe these broads will appreciate it. I know crafters aren’t always bakers and bakers aren’t always crafters so it’s not like I’m trying to drive traffic to my blog. Also, I don’t sell advertising on my blog so what do I care if people read it or not? Anyway, I got this message the other day telling me not to post free downloads anymore because it looks like I’m just driving traffic to my blog. So guess what, CRAPster? You’re banned! I don’t need your shitty patterns for iPod cozies anyway! I’ll keep posting on Punk Rock Domestics where people are cool and they like free stuff and they don’t get uppity about what people post. PS I hate owls! So there!