So I graduated from Columbia on the 17th but I’m finishing my last eight credits (as well as holding down an internship at Time Out Chicago’s Eating and Drinking guide- woot) starting tomorrow. I’m taking nutrition (I’m hoping to learn that eating cake and ice cream all day is, in fact nutritious,) photography and PR writing. I want to be really awesome at PR writing because French Pastry School has a marketing department and I like French pastries. Well no, I’m hoping to be awesome at my internship and then Time Out will be like- yeah, you should totally have a column about cake and ice cream in Chicago, here’s a million dollars. But if that doesn’t pan out I will write the shit out of some press releases for sexy French pastry chefs.
Oh, well where I was going with this bit about school is that my first class starts at 8:30am. No big deal, Teno’s up at 6am most mornings, but by 8 I’m already thinking about lunch because I have crazy metabolism that makes my internal temperature 1.5 degrees hotter than everyone else and also forces me to eat about 6 meals a day. (Yikes, I don’t go to school for a week and all of the sudden I’m the mayor of Run-onville.) So I’m packing the most giant, hilarious lunch in the world including but not limited to a Tofurkey and Smart Bacon sandwich, pretzels, carrots and hummus and these yummy vegan lemony lemon poppy seed muffins. I will probably also pack some sort of chocolate and a bottle of water.
The other day I bought a bunch of organic limes and lemons and spent about 45 minutes juicing and zesting them all. I always want to make really citrusy muffins and scones but I hate going to the gross produce market by my house so I thought ahead this time. We had Leek and Bean Cassoulet with Biscuits from Veganomicon for dinner, and that shit took me ALL day to make so I was very happy to only spend five minutes throwing these together. They will sustain my life for approximately 30 minutes tomorrow, but whatever. I froze half the batter in cupcake liners so I can make more next week when I have class again.
This recipe is based on the one in Vegan with a Vengeance : Over 150 Delicious, Cheap, Animal-Free Recipes That Rock
, but I’ve found that citrus-based recipes are never as lemony or limey or grapefruity as I had my heart set on, so I got all Emeril and kicked it up a notch. And that is the only time I will ever compare myself to someone so sweaty and obnoxious.
To make these muffins you will need:

  • 1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 Tbs baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/3 cup canola oil
  • 3/4 cup soy milk
  • 6 oz. lemon flavored soy yogurt
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla
  • 1/2 tsp lemon oil
  • 2 Tbs finely grated lemon zest
  • 1 Tbs poppy seeds

And if you’d like to make them really pucker-ific, you’ll also need:

  • 1 3/4 cups powdered sugar
  • 5 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Then you:
Pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees and spray your muffin pan with non-stick spray. You could also use cupcake papers, but those make muffins a little too soggy in my snotty opinion.
Sift the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the oil, soy milk, yogurt, vanilla, and lemon oil. Stir the zest into the wet ingredients.
Fold the wet ingredients into the dry, adding the poppy seeds half way through mixing. This is a sticky, lumpy batter. be OK with that. don’t try to make it smooth, just mix it til it’s mixed and step away. Unless you like to eat rocks, then by all means, beat it tl it’s smooth.
Fill each muffin cup, I did it all the way because these don’t rise all that much. Bake 20-25 minutes until golden brown. Then you can either eat one right out of the pan like I did, and then say “ss haa,” which means “it’s hot” in Mouth-full-of-food-ese. Or you can whisk the powdered sugar and lemon juice in small bowl until smooth and spoon the lemon glaze over the warm muffins.

This is totally unrelated, but I also made these Sex in the City cupcake toppers for my friend Mandi and since I’ve never even seen the show I have no use for them aside from making her happy. So I figured I’d post them here for all you cougars. Just download the file, print it on cardstock, trim them and stick them in your dried up old, alcoholic cupcakes. Mwwaaaa ha ha ha!
You’re welcome.