Blackberry Pie of Northern Darkness

Hail & kill & eat

Riding through the blackberries of endless time
The flaky crust rises with the horizon like Nordens on fire
Still peace breathes throughout the pan…
This pie will be the one…

Sugar sprinkles gleam upon these peaceful pies…
Far beyond the realms of fire and ice
The legion munches on…
Now ring the mighty dinner bell

Pie throughout the sky… set fire to the land
Pie throughout the sky… blackberry pie of Northern Darkness

Greetings brothers and sisters of metal. Are you ready for pie? Brace yourselves, then, for the Blackberry Pie of Northern Darkness.

For the crust you’ll need:

(adapted from Dorie Greenspan’s Baking: From My Home to Yours)

  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp organic orange zest
  • 2 1/2 sticks very cold, unsalted butter, but into tsp-sized cubes
  • 1/3 cup very cold vegetable shortening, cut into 4 pieces about 1/2 cup ice water

Then you:

Place flour, sugar, salt and orange zest into a food processor and pulse to combine. Drop in butter and shortening and pulse just until they’re cut into the flour. You’re looking for a variation of butter chunks in the mixture – some will be small and others will be as large as peas. Gradually add about 6 Tbs of ice water while pulsing the machine on and off. Give it a few longer pulses to allow the water to mix into the flour. Check the mixture – if it’s too crumbly to stick together when you pinch it, add a little more water and do a little more pulsing. I needed between 8-10 Tbs water to achieve the correct consistency.

Divide the dough in half and roll into two balls. Heh. Flatten each one into a disk and wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate at least one hour before rolling out.

The legion munches on...

After the dough has chilled, roll one disk out between two sheets of wax paper and place in your greased pie pan. I also add about 1/4 cup of crushed Cheerios or graham crackers to the bottom to soak up extra juice and prevent a soggy crust. Stick this back in the fridge for about 1/2 hour. While you wait you can get the filling ready.

For the filling:

  • 4 cups fresh blackberries, washed and dried
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp allspice
  • 1 tsp organic lemon zest
  • a squeeze of fresh lemon juice

Gently toss everything together in a big bowl – scoop into prepared pie pan. Retrieve the other dough disk from the bitter twilight of your refrigerator and roll it between two sheets of wax paper until it’s large enough to over the top of the pie. Crimp the edges to seal the blackberries’ cursed fate. You can use an egg wash and sugar to make the top golden brown and shiny. Shiny like my battle axe.

Bake in a 425 degree oven for 15 minutes, then lower the temperature to 375 and bake 20-25 minutes more. If the pie is browning too quickly, make a loose tent of foil over the top.