I had SO much fun on The Late Live Show this month – and I even stayed up past midnight! These guys are hilarious – on my list of the greatest things ever this clip comes right after my kid, for real.
I grew up in Channahon, IL - population 12,560. It’s a quiet place inhabited these days mostly by old folks, and it isn’t known for much. In fact, when I found out that Nick Offerman’s dad taught social studies at a junior high in Channahon I burst in on Tony in the bathroom to tell him about it. It’s literally the most exciting fact about Channahon you will ever learn. But it was a good place to be a kid – lots of wide-open spaces to run around in, and steep, steep hills to ride your bike down. (My mom doesn’t like when I compare that to the dirt bike scene in Gummo, but that’s what it reminds me of.)
Of the many things Channahon is not famous for, it is probably least famous for its cuisine. For most of my life the only non-chain restaurant around was a truck stop called Sarah’s Place that served re-heated frozen delicacies like jalapeño poppers and chicken fingers. But that didn’t bother us, because my family could potluck and cookout with the best of them. Burgers and hot dogs took a backseat to the sides that my mom, cousins and aunt would whip up. My mom’s taco salad (that she started making with fake meat for me in 1998 and no one has noticed to this day), my cousin Mikey’s twice-baked potatoes and my Aunt Cindy’s taffy apple salad stand out as favorites in my memory.
After receiving a sneak peek package of Chicago Vegan Foods‘ Dandies Mini Vegan Marshmallows I decided to revisit my aunt’s go-to side dish with all vegan ingredients. (These will be available in the fall – until then, you can use kitchen scissors to snip full-sized Dandies into smaller pieces.) Turns out, it’s actually way less work than the original! I made some swaps, too, like walnuts in place of peanuts and tart green apples in place of Red Delicious – but if you could definitely switch back if you wanted to. Taffy apple salad recipes vary – some call for crushed pineapple, some call for chopped up Snickers bars – so in this recipe I made sure to capture the essential elements of whipped cream, nuts & apples and did my best to include a hint of sugar and salt.
Use this recipe for candied walnuts (although I up the salt to 1/4 tsp). To make coconut whipped cream, place two cans of full-fat coconut milk in the refrigerator overnight. The next day, carefully turn them over and open the bottom. Pour out the water, and place the thick cream that’s leftover into a mixing bowl. Use a handheld electric mixer to beat the cream until it’s thickened. You may wish to add a 1/2 tsp of xanthan gum or another vegan whipped cream stabilizer to keep the whipped cream from separating over time. I didn’t sweeten or flavor the coconut cream in this recipe, although you could add 2 Tbs of confectioner’s sugar and 1/2 tsp vanilla extract for that authentic Cool Whip flavor.
By Published: May 12, 2013
Based on the side dish that made my Aunt Cindy famous in the Three Rivers-area, here is my take on this fluffy fruit salad.
WordPress Recipe Plugin by ReciPress
What are some childhood food favorites you’d like to see receive a makeover?
Pre-sales on my first book, Bake and Destroy: Good Food for Bad Vegans have been so overwhelming that I’m excited to announce I’ve already started work on my second book: Eat Shit and Die!
Whereas Good Food for Bad Vegans featured 100% vegan party foods like Totchos, Banana Bread French Toast Cupcakes and BBQ Salad, my latest book will send your stomach straight to hell with gut-busting recipes for Extra Mayo Deviled Eggs, Ham-Stuffed French Toast and Gluten-Free Bacon Cupcakes. I created this collection of bland, greasy, depressing recipes for those of you who prefer to snack while crying in the bathtub.
Look for Eat Shit and Die, and for my first book Bake and Destroy: Good Food for Bad Vegans wherever books are sold! (April Fools!)
Ok, full disclosure: I work for Lifeway Foods. Teno is, of course, never biased by things like that, but I thought you should know just for the sake or transparency. That being said, we bought these ProBugs Frozen Kefir pops at Whole Foods with real cash money – about $6 for a box of six.
Kefir, for those of you who aren’t hip to Dr. Oz’s jive, is a cultured dairy product – similar to yogurt, but with more probiotic activity. Lifeway makes a wide variety of drinkable kefir – conventional, organic, lowfat, nonfat, whole milk, etc. as well as frozen kefir – which is kind of like fro-yo, but again, more probiotics. Everything is gluten-free, lactose-free, and GMO-free so it’s pretty kid-friendly across the board. Anyway, here’s Teno’s take on these frozen pops, which are 70 calories each:
Note: Teno has trouble opening every package always. But I have found that these are easier to open when they’re really cold, right out of the freezer, than they are after they’ve warmed up a bit.
First of all, I am writing this on one of the most insane sugar highs I’ve ever had. One possible explanation is that I’m in Las Vegas right now and Retro Bakery delivered a dozen cupcakes to my hotel. I dunno, just a theory.
I got a lot of great suggestions for places to eat while I’m here thanks to my Facebook buddies. I walked down to Wynn/Encore last night because – holy shit – all of their restaurants have vegan options. Also while I was out, a dude with a blow out and a Christian Audigier t-shirt (not even lying) looked me up and down and said, “Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.” A few minutes later two crusty punks told me I’m cute. When I finally got back to the safety of Bally’s a drunk guy in the elevator demanded to know my nationality. So needless to say, I want to go home immediately.
But before I do, I’m speaking at the Social Media Strategies Summit today! Yeah, that’s right. I’m going to talk about how to be good at the Internet and grown people in suits and everything are going to listen to me. (There are not one, but two ermahgerd pictures in my Power Point.) Then, a few days after I get back to Chicago I’m on this panel:
It’s free, so if you’re in Chicago you should come out and social leverage strategies for synergy disruption with us!
My next adventure is South Beach Wine & Food in just a few weeks, so if you have any suggestions for where a girl can eat some vegetarian food in the Miami Beach area let me know!
Teno and I are going to have to agree to disagree about roasted seaweed. I personally think it’s one of the finest snacks on Earth but…well, you can watch the video. Frankly I’m shocked at how polite he was with his opinions on this one, but maybe he’s saving the mock barfing for something homemade that I actually spend a bunch of time on.
Anyway, if you want to try Sea Tangle Snacks you can find them at Whole Foods. No Whole Foods near you? Sea weed snacks can be found at Trader Joe’s and lots of major grocery chains, too!
Copyright Bake and Destroy 2012 | Designed by Girl's Town | Powered by WordPress
Vegan Doritos-Crusted Tofu
Vegan Tot Pot Pie
All-Purpose BBQ Jackfruit
Raw Vegan Cookie Dough Bites